14 Oct Soft Life, Safe Life: Safe Sex in the LGBTQIA+ Community

Posted at 19:29h in Identity, Relationships by

Hookups are cute. But stressing about an STI the next day? Yoh, that’s not the vibe. And the truth is, in South Africa the numbers are hectic. Research has shown that HIV among queer men ranges anywhere between 13% and 43%, and for young people between 20 and 24, it’s been as high as 38%. One study even found that almost half of queer guys had at least one STI in just six months. That’s not small.

But don’t panic — this isn’t about fear, it’s about power. Protecting yourself is part of the soft life.

Consent is the first non-negotiable. If you’re not hearing an enthusiastic “yes,” then it’s a no. Sharp sharp. Mid-vibe check-ins aren’t awkward — they actually make the moment better because you both know you’re into it.

Then there’s protection. Condoms, dental dams, water-based lube — they’re not “just in case” items, they’re must-haves. And let’s be real: PrEP is a serious game-changer, but it’s not universally free. In South Africa, certain public clinics and demonstration sites offer PrEP at no cost (especially for high-risk groups like sex workers). Outside of those, you’ll need a prescription and in the private sector it costs about R300–R550/month. Think of it as investing in your health while knowing your options.

Testing? Please. Don’t ghost your health. Make it a clinic date with your bestie, and afterwards go get a Kota, bubble tea, or whatever your vibe is. Knowing your status isn’t embarrassing — it’s actually a flex. It says, “I rate myself.”

Safe sex doesn’t kill the mood. If anything, it makes the vibe hotter — because there’s confidence, respect, and no stress attached. The real soft life? It’s consensual, it’s healthy, and it’s full of joy.

Where to Get Help

Because sometimes you need more than just advice — you need safe spaces and clinics that get it. Here are some LGBTQIA+ friendly services across South Africa:

Gauteng

Western Cape

  • Triangle Project – Observatory: Helpline 021 712 6699.
  • Anova Health Institute – Bellville (Tyger Valley): Tel +27 10 824 0552.

KwaZulu-Natal

  • Uthingo Network (formerly Gay & Lesbian Network) – Pietermaritzburg: Tel 033 342 6165.

National Helplines

  • GBV National Command Centre: 0800 428 428 (1207867# “Please Call Me”).
  • National GBV Helpline: 0800 150 150.
  • Childline SA: 0800 055 555.
  • POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse): 011 642 4345.
  • Rape Crisis (Cape Town): 021 447 9762.

Clinic details change — always call ahead before visiting.

Chomee The Writer
amzchomee@gmail.com